Which Teams Will Be Having Sex At The World Cup?
It's
a long-held myth that athletes should refrain from sex before a
competition, for fear of exhaustion or a lack of testosterone. Nearly
all scientific studies agree that there's no danger, but the belief
persists. To that end, managers for a number of countries have banned
their players from having relations with loved ones (or otherwise) at
the World Cup.
Citing
public statements, we've broken up the World Cup field into those
nations that will be celibate and those that will be boning like
bunnies. It'll be fun to come back and look at this list once the
tournament's over.
The land of sun, sex, and soccer couldn’t be more down about the World Cup.
The morning after Carnaval this year,
garbagemen in orange pennies walked the foggy beaches, sweeping together
mountains of trash along Rio de Janeiro's famous coastal promenades. As they
cleaned up from Brazil's annual mass party
they sang in unison, while hung over passersby trudged through sand and shared
with them wry smiles: "Packed airport, stopped traffic, chaos all over, ai ai,
ai, ai ai ai / People on all sides, all hotels full, metro choked, ai ai ai, ai
ai ai / Imagine during the Cup!" They had their work cut out for them: The
majority of Rio's garbagemen had gone on strike during the celebration.
But just hours later, the scene on the freshly cleaned
Ipanema Beach returned to the product Brazil sells best: no-worries happiness.
Sweaty Brazilians in skimpy bathing suits gathered their beach chairs into
semicircles facing the blue-green waves as they filled each others' cups with
beer, laughing loudly about their Carnaval shenanigans as smiling vendors hawked
fruit salad and traveling musicians kept everyone tapping their sandy toes to
samba's catchy rhythms.
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